“No.”
That’s what I’ll say to you if you want dry content, coma-inducing ads, or any form of marketing boring enough to send an accountant to sleep.
I don’t do boring. But if you’re a brand that wants to try something different, test some wild ideas, or build an ad campaign that causes pensioners to choke on a Werthers Original, well...
BRANDS I’VE DONE STUFF FOR
stuff i do
Feel like your brand needs a kick up the arse? Ads need a bit more juice? Need fresh ideas to stand out? I generally work on a monthly retainer doing one or more of these things:
Content
People think content’s easy. Shit content is. I’ll craft regular posts that speak to your target audience, grow your brand’s following, and attract less pretenders, more spenders.
Guerrilla
I was doing guerrilla marketing for brands before it was fashionable. I know what gets attention, and how to do it within the boundaries of the law so you don’t get arrested.
ad creative
Everyone ignores ads because most are gooch-itchingly dull. Luckily for you, I create ones that your target audience actually want to see, engage with, and click on.
creative ideas
In a world where everyone can create stuff at the click of a button, the only thing that matters is the idea. I specialise in creative ideation for big brands down to SMEs.
COMING SOON!
£45.00
TART UP YA START UP
Marketing a start up or new business is fucking hard. Everyone’s vying for attention, most markets are saturated, and no one really gives a shit about content or ads anymore unless they slap. In this guide, I’ll give you every tip and trick I’ve learnt in over 10 years in marketing startups, including examples of how and where to use tactics, how to build a decent strategy, and how to grow a following of target customers from scratch.
£30.00
STUNT 101
I wrote the playbook on guerrilla marketing and here it is. Whilst it’s not right for every brand, for certain industries and small businesses, it’s a way to get your business talked about, often without breaking the bank. I’ll give you examples of stuff I’ve done, show you what it takes to come up with an idea for and plan a great stunt, and I’ll tell you how to do it without ending up in prison with a gropey cellmate called Big Bob.
who the fuck am i?
I’m a creative bloke who founded controversial marketing agency, Offended, before selling it to a portly man for some magic beans. I’ve worked with the likes of Entain (Ladbrokes, Coral, Foxy Bingo), N26, Semrush, and Huel. Nowadays, I run DanKelsall.com, and I’m co-founder of the University of Creative Idiots, which isn't a real uni. I have a fiancée (surprisingly), a dog who doesn’t listen to a word I say, and a son called Ayce.
AS A CREATIVE, DAN HAS WRITTEN SOME OF THE FUNNIEST AND MOST ENGAGING COPY I’VE EVER READ. HE’LL MAKE YOU LAUGH, HE’LL MAKE YOU CRY (ALTHOUGH THAT’S NOT ALWAYS THE COPY).
RICH GORDON, ENTAIN (LADBROKES)
